Finally.. some answers  / Tonya Valeka (friend)

To Brent's Mom.... I am so glad that you finally got the answers that you were looking for.  I know that it doesnt make it any easier, but at least you can have some kind of closure.
To DeDe... I don't know u all that well, but I cannot believe that you could do something like this to such a great guy. You knew what those pills were and yet you didnt warn him about it.

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I knew from the first day!  / Angie Smith (A Good Friend )
Hi Diane, it's been awhile that I've got to talk to you.  I've been sick and so on so I don't stay online that much.  I'm so happy that you have the answers that you wanted.  I know that you miss him so bad we all do (the people that really cared). I know it has to kill you knowing that that slush could have picked up a phone and helped Brent.  She didnt want her butt caught but did she not stop to think that you would not stop till you knew what happened to him.  I don't have the message that she told me saved like I thought I did but I know good and well what all she told me as does Lori.  She told me that she found him at 5 not 7.  She also did not know that I was really good friends with him then when she was telling me all this.  From the secound that you told me she said 7 I knew then that two and two didn't make five.  She took a son a daddy a brother a grandson a nephew a uncle a cousin and a good friend to many people for her own good!  God will in the end see that she gets what she wants.  I hope that no one else will fall into her sick trap and end up like Brent.  How dare she write the things that she has wrote about loving him more than anything (even her own kids) knowing it was her that held his life in her hands that day.  How could she cry like she did and make the sceane that she did at your funeral.  It was not out of grief it was out of being scared that she was gonna be found out.  Brent if I had not got there early that night I would have not made it up there to get to see your beautiful face one last time.  She was all over your casket and not even your mom could get next to you.  I had to fight to walk by to see you one last time.  I know that you seen us all down here I know that you saw me that sunday as the tears rolled down my face, they were real tears as were everyone else's execpt for one.  How Dede that has to be one of the coldest things a person could do.  Look at Lexi she has to grow up with only a few years of knowing her daddy.  Diane has to go through the rest of her life knowing only 28 years of her son.  That is so wrong of you to do this, you should have got help.  It was the only right thing to do but no you didn't want your butt on the line and that is coldhearted.  I hope one day when Lexi is old enough to know that you held her daddies life in your hands and you choose to let him slip through and I hope that someone will look you down and give your drunk drugged ass the beating that it deserves.  I knew from the start and yes I told Diane that I just knew you had something to do with it, and what do you know I was right along with so many other people that you turned to in this time.  Do us all a favore do cry anymore fake tears, dont post anymore lies about how you loved him...we all know that is not ture...if so you would have picked that phone up and called 911, just go away you have done enough to his family and they knew you from the start about how you were.  You took MY FRIEND and so much more that day and that is something that is so unforgiveable.  Enjoy your stay in hell Dede Holden.  Brent honey you had more postive love than you ever thought.  I know you are in heaven I know you know the truth.  Look down on your mother help her through this.  And watch down on us all till we see you again one day Brent.  I'm so sorry I was not there to help you that day Brent. I'm so sorry.  You are always in my thoughts,  I Love You Angie Close

I love you!  / Tiffany Cawthon (sister)
Brent,
I was just thinking of you today and had to write a few words. You know now that we know that someone on this earth had something to do with taking you away it hurts so much worse. I do not know what made Dede think  that we would not eventually find this out because we were not going to leave any stone unturned when it came to finding out what made you go into that coma. Don't you worry she will get whats coming to her. It makes me sick to think of all the fake stuff she said to me during your funeral and all those fake tears she cried. Anyway enough about her. Last week when I was in the hospital all I could think of was you. It was so hard to be there because that is the last place that I seen you. Thank you so much for helping me through that because I knew I had an angel in heaven helping God to watch over me. I miss you more everyday, everything seems to remind me of you. Please ask God to watch over mama really closely because she is having a rough time making it without you. Alexis needs her here so bad. Alexis gets more like you everyday, she always wants everybody to laugh just like you always did. She has always been just like you but since you have been gone she gets more like you everyday. Well let me go for today but I love you and miss you and can not wait to see you again because I know I will in heaven.

Love,
Tiffany

Shay says she loves her angel Uncle Brent! Close

good morning brent  / Julie Martin (friend)
hi brent, i was just reading i am so glad you'r mother knows now what happen to you and i cant unstand how someone like dede  can come on here and say how mush she loved you and how she crys for you it is not fair that dede toke you away from you'r family and little girl i pray that one day dede can come to you'r mom and little girl and tell them she is sorry for what she could have done for you and you would still me here if dede would have called 911.i will go for now me, lori, angie has a gift for you'r mom and i know she will love it. it is from you from heaven. Close

I'm still Here  / Angie (A Good Friend )
Dear Brent, I know I have not talked to you well not here anyway, but i've been sick and all kinds of stuff.  In and out of the hospital and all but I think i'm doing better now.  I was in the hospital on Oct 11 and don't let for one secound that it didn't run through my head a million times that just two months before that you were there.  I'm glad your mom knows what happened.  No mom should have to wonder what happened to there child, not a mother like you had anyway, I don't care what some people have to say she is one of the most loving people I have ever came across.  Momma's are not overprotective to be mean, they are that way to look out for you and as much as we don't like it we really all should have listened. I figured pretty much about what had happened, but I was not gonna let that change anyway that I felt about you as a friend.  I wish that she had at least tried to get you help I know she knew that something was not right.  What kind of mindless person would not know, and by the story she told me and the real story I sorta felt that in my heart the whole time.  It's all done now and there is nothing anyone can do now to help you, but I know that anyone tht did any wrong will get what they gave one day.  Well Brent I'm gonna go for now I'll talk to later.  Keep Watching Down On Us All!  Love Angie Close

Brent, the tears keep falling and I can't stop them.  / Brent's Mama (mom)
May precious son,
It is so hard to go everyday without you.  I hope you know how much I love you amd miss you.  You were a part of me.  I cry until my heart and head hurts so bad.  I wish I could be with you.  Inta;led to Scott yesterday an he misses you alot too and he loved you.  Brent. I found out what caused your death and it really hurts me.  THe coronor said that methadone killed you and I knowwho gave it to you--Dede, the one who pretended she loved you so much and said she didn't do drugs.  She fell over on my computer keyboard the night before your funeral.  At the funeral home she was falling and stumbling around everywhere      and everyone there was talking about it.  THey all tried to tell  me from the start that something wasn't right about her, but, I wouldn't listen, because I know you wanted me to not find fault in people you cared about.  You always thought I didn't want you to have friends but, I just wanted to protect you because you were so kind-hearted and wanted to find someone to love you. People like her took advantage of you because you were such a good trusting person.  When I seen her passed out at our house that night, her purse was turned over and I seen a bottle of pills and I looked them up in the internet and Heather Adams and Amy Lambert took them to a pharmacy to be identified.  THey told them the pills were methadone 40mg, xanax, mepergan, and dilaudid, all pain killers strong and could cause respiratory distress, coma, and death.  That is what happened to you, baby.  There was nothing I could do.  I'm sure Dede seen you struggling to breathe before you went into that coma, but she chose not to call 911 for help because she didn't want anyone to find out what she gave you so she could save her own self.  Instead of saving your life.  How could she be that cruel.  I know she tells alot of lies about everything, but, that was too much.  She took my son and Alexis's daddy. I was hoping she was gong to be a true friend to you, like we talked about the day before she came and got you.  I didn't know when you left with her, that would be the last time I saw you alive.  She is evil and God will take care of her.  I miss you so much Brent.  You were so beautiful your whole life.  It seems so unfair for you to be taken so tragically.  I LOVE YOU .  I pray to God everday to hold you in his arms for me  and make you feel how much I love you and he loves you.  See you soon. Close

I miss you man  / Dusty Reece (Good Friend )

Brent, To my friend that I will always cherish having.You always look out for me when I was with you.I'll never forget you and all the things we talk about and and all the stuff that you told me.You taught me to look at life in a whole new way.You made me look at myself and I thank you for that.I'll see you in heaven.Outkast 4-ever.

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Diane / Angie
Dear Diane, Hang in there I know right now it's hard and always will be but in time you will be able to make it.  I'm sorry about you having a b=though time right now but you know it is good that you are letting it out instead of keeping it bottled up.  You know that you have god there to help you more than anything.  Keep your head up I know it is hard but put your faith into his hands and he will heal your heart in time.  It is alwaye important for a person to let it out that helps get over the pain and I know.  I still cry over my mom (she has been gone 5 years) and my dad (almost 2 years) so it in healthy to let it go sometimes.  I dont know how it feels to lose a child but I do know how it feels to lose your mom and dad.  Diane there are so many things I would love to tell my mom and dad all I can do is pray and talk to them and hope that they hear it.  I wish they were still here but both of them were very sick my mom was really bad off with cancer. I know that she is in a better place and she is all better and my dad had bad heart trouble and he is better off too.  I would rather them not have them suffering anymore than for me to be selfish and want them here, I do miss them like crazy and not a day goes by that there is some thing that I would love to have a mom to talk to.  And I miss spending time with my daddy seeing that I was away from him for all those years that I was it took me forever to get that relationship back and not long after he died.  I know it will always hurt but in time you will heal trust me I know you will you have beautiful grandchildren there to help you and just know that everytime you look at Lexi you are looking at Brent.  Hang in there, Let God help you in this time and Im sure that in no time you will start felling better about things.  Take Care..Love Angie Close

Just thinkin  / Megan Alewine (Friend)
Brent

It's so weird without ya here...you were a great person, so giving and kind...I just don't understand why God would take someone as good as you..We need more people in the world like you were..It's just so hard not being able to talk to ya anymore...To Brents family ...I'm really sorry about everything.... Close

I still miss you so  / Angie (Friend)
Hey Brent , You know you think things get better with time but I guess they don't it's not like I fell and hurt my knee that pain goes away this pain is still stuck in my heart and will be you was such a good friend someone that I could really talk to about whatever was on my mind.  I don't have that anymore and I miss it but not as bad as I just miss you!  I know you are watching down and I know that you see every breakdown that I have and I know that it makes you feel bad that you are not here in person to help me, but Brent I know you are here in another form to help me like you would if you were still in your body.  I just got home from a trip and I knew the whole time that I had a special angel watching over me while I was gone and that made me feel so much better about travling.  There is one thing I want you to know "friends come and go but true friends stay after you go" and I will always still be here till I'm where you are.  Well I'm gonna go I just wanted to talk for a bit to let you know I've not forgot you and I never will.  Till I see you again Brent I'll miss you always.  Love Angie Close

Oh Brent why did you want to go to heaven so soon?  / Brent's Mama (mom)
Brent,
Every letter I read that you wrote to me, yourself, God and even the one you wrote to "anyone", all you wrote about was dying and going to heaven, all your life.  Why did you hurt so bad that you couldn't stay with us or even want to stay with us for many many years?  I wish I understood why you thought it was so important to you to want to die so young.  I tried my best to understand how you felt.  I felt your pain, your lonliness, sadness. It hurt me just like it did you.  You were such a beautiful person, inside and out your whole life.  I think about you every minute of the day, wishing I had one more chance to make it better for you.  I would fight the devil for you. I hold on to every good memory I can to try to smile.  I know you wouldn't want me to feel so sad, but, I can't help it.  I go to church, I pray to God for his help, but, it just won't stop hurting.  I wish I could come with you right now and see yoy happy like you should have been here.  Why couldn't the devil and all his people leave you alone?  Me and Lexi need you so bad.  I tell her everyday how nuch you loved her and how wonderful her daddy always was.  She loves you and misses you so much.  She is such an angel, I don't know what I would do without her right now.  I feel like I have you with me when I look at that beautiful little girl.  But, it kills me to know that she will grow up without her daddy. I know she meant the world to you.  Ask God for a special request, that your mama and daughter needs his mercy and his help to keep my faith strong, or I won't ever get better.  I need him more than I ever have right now.  I love you my son. I always have and I always will. God please give my son all the love he never felt in his life and let him know how much I love him. Close

I Wish I Could Just Hear You Tell Me 'Its Gonna Be Ok'  / Ashley (babygurl) (Friend)

You have been on my mind a lot lately, I've got some things going on in my life and I just wish you were here to help me thru them like you always did. I know your here with me so I know I'm gonna make it thru all this but its so hard without you tellin me I'm gonna be ok.Not having you here hasnt gotten any easier you were a great friend to many Brent. I was just wanting to say hey and I love you, keep watching over us all.. 
        
                               Love Ya Brent,
                                           Ashley

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Just wanted to talk  / Angie
Hey Brent it's Angie I just thought I would let you know that I'm doing somewhat better,  my doctor shut down leaving me to have to find another one.   I feel better than I did still a little lonley but i'll be ok.  I wonder where your mom is I see her pop in and pop out sometimes.  I guess she is still so busy that she does not have time to get on that much.  I have sorta stopped going into chat it's nothing good anyway I keep my messenger to talk to my friends and family thats about it.Anyway this is gonna be a short one for now I got some stuff to do.  Watch Over Us All Brent,Till we see you again....Love Angie Close

I'll remember you also  / Julie Martin (Friend)
Bernt you were such a caring person from talking with your mom and Lori and Angie, I have learned so much about you.  I wish that I got to know you in life but I didnt' get a chance to you were taking to early from this earth.  You're mother missis you so much as do your real friends and family.  But I have noticed that were are the ones that were the first to leave their thoughs and feelings on here...I dont see them anymore just your mom and sister but no online friends anymore.  Just because they leave one thing on here does not mean that they can't always come back and leave something else.  I know you see this and always will I bet you read it everyday and it makes you smile to know that you were cared about,  even if it is only a few people that really care you know that you are loved and cared about more than you knew.  I wish you would have just stuck with Angie and Lori and let them be your friends and helped you through times like you did with Angie, and you might still be here this day with your little girl and your mother and family.. Watch Over Us All RIP Love Julie Close

I'll always remember you  / Lori Jordan (True Friend )
Brent I still remember you, it seems that some have forgot but no matter what I'll be here.  You were a really good friend even though you liked to play games but still no matter what we always still talked.  People on here think that being a good friend is typing on a keyboard to you and seeing it on a screen but it was not like that with us we knew each other for a long time we saw each other I came to your house we went to Angies we went places. I didn't just know you by typing in a box to you like most people did.  Where are they now Brent why don't they leave anything on here anymore Why is it all Angie that still talks to you almost everyday.  Because she is a true friend that would have went through heaven and hell to do anything to keep you here as would I.  Well I'm gonna go I just wanted to let you know that I will always remember you when no one else does.  Till We See Each Other Again.  Love Lori Close

People Forget  / Angie
Brent when your other friends have forgot you I still remember you.  They were your so called friends but where are they now, why don't they post anymore just because your soul is gone you are still with us and I know you see this.  And for some reason people see to forget after one's body is gone.  I wont though not forever.  Love Angie Close

Hey I just wanted to talk  / Angie (A friend for life and beyond )
Hey Brent, I hope everything is going ok I know it is you are no longer here with all this hurt and pain that we all have to deal with here.  I was thinking I wsh I would have left when you begged me too.  We would both be happy now but your in heaven happy and I'm here just here!  I can no longer even try to hide the pain in my face like i  was able to.  You know that at that time that I loved James thats why I could not leave him but if I had only known that a few short weeks later that I would just be a warm body for him to lay next to at night after he was done with his life then I would have not gave it another thought to leave him to be with you. I loved you and I know that we could have made each other happy.  Things would have had to change but it would have been a different life for you a better one and a better one for me.  Just the fact of having someone that loved me would have made me smile and really mean it, I no longer smile I have not raeason.  I'm hurting so bad right now I gave up so much to be with James and I went through hell to stand my ground and prove that I was not the kind of person that my very own cousin told his grandmother that I was.  YeS I go out and have fun I drink from time to time I take nerve pills that my doctor gives me but that is it.  I don't do drugs and I made my point to these people that I'm not what she said.. She is Jelous and it has always been this way with us.  Anyway James went to work today after I begged him to get out of bed and after his grandmother called and I wound up getting cussed out and that makes you feel really great to know that for someone that claims that they love you to leave and not tell you bye but to cuss you on the way out the door.  That is what I can't take he is not responsible at all unless it is something for him he don't want to work he would rather play video games or golf and lay out of work then want me to call me stepdad with some lie to get money and im not gonna do that. If he can wake up at 6 in the morning happy as can be to play golf I don't know why I have to take a nerve pil just to get him out of the bed to go to work.  Anyway like I said I'm no longer to even fake being happy and I am feelingthe same as you I just want someone to hold me let me cry and make me feel loved again. I'm gonna go Brent it's hard to type through the tears, but I see now how you felt.  I'll talk to you later.Watch over me please I really need it right now more than anything.  Take Care Sweety Till I see you again. Love Angie Close

I miss you more than ever  / Angie (Best Friend )
Hello Brent, today is the 5th week that you've been gone.  It's still impossible to think that you are no longer here.  It's like i'm asleep and i'll wake up and everything will be ok,but I know that is no longer a dream it is real and you are in heaven.  I miss talking to you so much you know sometimes people don't think about how much something means till it's no longer there and I know that I could call you or either look on here and you would talk to me and that made me feel not so alone anymore.  Its not that way anymore I feel all alone I don't have many friends online just family that I talk to on here.  You were more than just a online friend though we go way way back.  I remember all the things that we went through at school the picture day that we had a bomb threat and had to stand outside for like 3 hours in the hot lol my hair was messed up and my makeup had sweated off, we were still out there cutting up and acting crazy.  I remember the day that I was in ISS (for somthing i didnt do) ;) and they came in and got Terry Cheak for shooting Chris Taylor that was a big shocker to the whole school.  I never thought Joesph whould had done anything like that, he was always sweet.  But after I dated Danile (a huge mistake) I found out Joesph was always sorta bad Daniel was his stepbrother I didnt know that though until I started dating Daniel.  I just remember so much all the people that we lost in school and after school and just this year alone you were the 3rd one that we lost.  I feel bad about all the people that we know that have died but out of all of them I really only knew a few one was a girl that sat next to me in one of my classes.  One was a guy that was in a lot of my classes that always picked on me all the time he was a clown like you and then the football player that got shot.  And all the rest but I didn't know any of them like I know you.  I just wished I would have let you know back then that I was so in love with you.  I figured that you would just blow me off I guess thats why I never said anything to you about it and just stayed your friend.  I remember when I told you about a year and a half ago that I was in love with you in school and you got all over me about not saying anything back then. I can't turn back time now but I wish I could.  We have so much in common like the anxiety and so on that you were easy to talk to and you understood every feeling that I would have.  You knew I was not faking that the feelings were real.  Not even my own boyfriend understands me or tries to help me get through things.  We are slowly drifting apart we don't really speak anymore he does his own thing never invites me and I just lay in bed.  Hearing about everyone elses life and how much fun that they are having.  I really miss talking to you I know I could anytime of the day no matter what I wanted to talk about even if it was just me talking about random things like right now I know that you would listen understand my feelings and talk back to me about it to let me know that everything was going to be ok.  I guess this is my way of still  talking to you and just I just know what you are saying back to me from heaven.  Well I'm gonna go I've talked long enough for right now but anytime I need to get something off my cheast i'm gonna come straight to you because even in heaven I know you are still listening to me and you still understand me more than anyone ever will.  That really meant alot to me Brent.  Keep watching over all of us I just want you to know that we will never forget you . Till we all see you again Brent i'll miss you ....Love Always Angie Close

This is really not getting any easier  / Tiffany Cawthon (little sister )
Brent,
We had your funeral a month ago today and it still is not getting any easier for me to accept that you are gone. You know other family members of ours have died and after  a week or two you just forget about it, but the more weeks that go by the more and more I think of you. I can't drive by the hospital without seeing your beautiful face lying in that bed in ICU. Even then you looked so beautiful and peaceful. It kills me to even think about it. Every song that comes on the radio somehow reminds me of you. I went to your grave today and when I seen "Brent Thomas 1977-2005" I just felt like that should not be real.Brent dont you worry when you have been gone 50 years your memory will live on in our hearts just as strong as the day you passed.I know that is the way you would want it. Brent I know that you are up in heaven thinking we are so crazy for mourning you because you are in a perfect place but boy it is not the same without you here. You deserve 1000 rewards in heaven for everything you have done for other people. If only I knew I would only get to spend 23 short years of my life with you we would seen each other everyday. Not a day goes by that your little angel Alexis does not talk about you. She misses you so much. She was Daddys angel and now you are her Guardian Angel. Who could ask for a more special Guardian Angel. Well sweetheart I have wrote enough but I love you so much and miss you more and more every day. I can not wait until I get to see you in heaven. Please watch over all of us.
Love,
Tiffany Close

A month that seems like a day!  / Lori Jordan (Friend For Life )
Brent is has been a month, it seems like a day though.  It's still so hard to belive that you are no longer here.  I miss you so much and I would do anything to have you back and so many things would be changed, you would still be here for one!  I know I would have never let anything happen to you.  I would have gave my all to save your life, then again if I was with you none of that would have ever happened in the first place.  It's not fair that you are gone from everyone that really loved you.  You were right in some ways your friends that you thought were your friends well I guess you know. But no matter what you still have me and Angie, Julie ,Jessica Speed a lot of people loved you, not online friends they are people on the other side of a screen you know and have seen how they have treated your mother and have said what they have said about you and I will not let them get away with it.  I will honor your name no matter what I have to do .  They are not gonna act like your friend and then say things that I saw said.  I care to much for you to do that and Angie also.  Well I'm gonna go I'm getting mad about this it kills me to know that they are talking about you while you are in heaven watching over them.  Just remember that you always had 2 ture friends you should have turned to us.  Take Care watch over us all good and Bad!  We will all be together again one day.  Love Lori
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